Don't be a scrooge. Seriously, babycakes, where's your Christmas spirit? If you ask us, adopting this poor, dear, down-on-its-luck Birkin is the only morally responsible option.
Now, you and she can bond during several holiday cocktail parties where you can teach your new addition all about the beauty benefits of Vitamin B Shots and the nutritional value of vodka. It's made from potatoes, practically a vegetable.
Love Always,
Jarred and Lizzy

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